


Dancing On My Own

by KrisLetang



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Dancing, Drunkenness, F/M, Kissing, Loneliness, One-Sided Attraction, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 18:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16069184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrisLetang/pseuds/KrisLetang
Summary: Rafael sees Liv and Tucker dancing at a gala.





	Dancing On My Own

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, 
> 
> I'm still alive lol. this is just something small I wrote based off of the song Dancing On My Own (the Calum Scott version). I have another huge Barson story coming, and hopefully, then I'll finish up Demons. Thanks for all the kind messages during my hiatus. I appreciate the support. Hope you guys like it! :)

The corner of the room, sitting in a chair on his own, sipping at a glass of scotch, Rafael felt like someone had stomped on his heart. There she was, looking as beautiful as ever in a black dress, but she was in _his_ arms. He took another sip of his drink, trying not to feel like he was going to fall apart as they kissed. He honestly wasn’t even sure what he was doing there at all. It was basically just torture. He should have been home working on a case, but instead, he found himself at a gala he hadn’t even been planning to attend. It was stupid, but he had to see it for himself. Finding out she was with anyone had been a shock, but to find out the woman he loved was involved with him, a man he thought they shared a mutual dislike for, was more painful than he could admit. He had been so caught off guard, he lashed out, and that was something he would regret forever. He regretted hurting her. He had to report them to 1PP, that hadn’t been an option. That was a professional issue, but the rest of the nastiness, the coldness that he treated her with. There was no one to blame for that but himself. 

Couldn’t she see how much he loved her? He felt like he was walking around with it written on his forehead. To her though, he was nothing but her friend. It was like he was invisible, like every time he tried to show her that he loved her, she didn’t even notice. He was a coward, he couldn’t say it out loud. He had always told himself that she had to know, used their unspoken connection as an excuse not to say it out loud, and maybe she did know. Maybe she didn’t care. He doubted she even realized he was at the gala. All of her focus was on Tucker as they spun around the dance floor. Rafael didn’t have a partner. He was dancing through life all on his own. 

He was out of line, sitting there stewing as he watched them. He had no right to be there in the first place, especially not when his only objective was to spy on Liv. He was out of place. He shouldn’t have been there, but it was too late. He was drunk and emotional, messed up, sitting in the corner by himself, watching them peer into each other’s eyes. Every time their lips brushed, he felt like someone punched him in the stomach. She was so close, yet the farthest she’d ever been from him. He wasn’t sure their friendship would ever recover from the events of the last week. He had never intended to have her removed from SVU, no matter how temporary it had been. He had never meant to hurt her.

As light flooded the room, signally the end of the event, he stood up, trying to keep his balance. He wasn’t really that far from her, but he was still invisible. She didn’t see him, and she probably never would. She wouldn’t ever know. He had to let it go and say goodbye. As he walked out into the cold air on his own, he tried not to cry. Hailing a cab, he thought about all the times he had imagined they would end up together. He couldn’t even pinpoint the moment he had fallen in love, but he had been so far gone ever since. It wasn’t something he could just let go of. He would just have to wait and hope that maybe he would have another chance. He would just keep dancing and hope that eventually, she’d find her way into his arms. 

  
  



End file.
